"You'd think that people would have had enough of
silly love songs.
But I look around me
and I see it isn't so
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs
And what's wrong with that ?
I'd like to know '
cause here I go
again.
I love you
I love you
I love you
I loveyou."
-Wings, Silly Love Songs
And really, what IS wrong with that? Born with a dick, people like to think that it is un-seemly to express myself in love. After losing chances to show my love for people i truly care about, i have felt the urgency of every loved one to be bathed in my love all the time. And that was what i set out to do.
But it seems that things are not going well. i may be doing it wrong in a few ways,
a) i come onto people as being gay. Well, i'm sure MANY peeeps will agree that ain't something new. But men can show love to one another outwardly, can't they? With my guy friends, i always have to settle for assuming their actions, their attitudes, and the things they say, the time they spend with you, to feel the love. I guess i'm a person with that great need to feel love. throw a little insecurity and you've probably figured me out.
b) i'm oversensitive. Maybe i don't feel the love because i take them too seriously. Most times, contrary to popular belief, Guys just wanna have fun (to those wols peeps, the song 'girls just wanna have fun' is being satired). This one is a tough one for me. Maybe i changed to trying to take them seriously because i wanted to be taken seriously. maybe i should learn a tad or two about timing, or rather, good timing.
c) Love just isn't about outward expression. I am aware now that people can regard an outward expression of love to be superficial, almost routine. refering to the aussie culture, where touch is a common aspect of their social behaviour. A hug can mean lots, and it can, at the same time, mean absolutely chicken shit. Of course, i ain't no Oz, so if you get a hug from me, i'm for real, baby! and Kel, i know you're for real too....Keep it real ma nigga. Perhaps, as i always preach but forget to do myself, it is deeds, not words, that are our adorning. And above all, the thought and intention and effort that counts.
d) Love must come from the heart. Sincerity, maybe, is the point of issue here. That, i must say, can only be judged by the receiver, and it is for me only to remain true to my heart and be sincere.
My goal is to become a person that is absolutely un-superficial with feelings. And when it comes down to taking a left-down-hatred-lane or right-up-where-it-feels-good-lane, i'd absolutely be obeying the "no left turn" road sign. Cheers to building true friendships!
two words: Keep it Real. shut up, 'it' aint a real word, it stands for.........
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1 comment:
Hey dude! Good to hear something from you while you're away. I know it's only been a couple of days, but your absence has made quite an impact with us back here. I guess many people won't understand the magnitude that our friendship (and those stuck here over the summer) has developed in such a short period of time. Refer to Derr's latest blog entry too.
Anyways, regarding your post....i totally understand what you mean. It's hard to outwardly show appreciation and love to the people we care about most, without it being misunderstood most of the time.
I guess the major difference with me is that rather than thinking I'm gay, people think that I'm some sorta player. Naturally, in a dance group predominantly made up of girls, you would tend to become close to them. And because of what people might perceive, I tend to hold myself back when it comes to this.
And the boyz....cos there's hardly any of us, the bond we've shared the last couple of years has been magic. Keep the love coming bro... :p
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