The Spring of September

Spring breathes life into all things.
Come September. My trying days are here. Take my lifeless body and manifest a stallion. Run the fields, trample the new-grown grass, and conquer the meadows in a sweep.

Spring brings life-giving waters, purifying winds, intoxicating fervor.
Infect me, O beloved bringer of the harvest, the new year awaits your touch, eager breasts inching, yearning, pleading.

And with the fairy-airy colourful nonsense aside, i need to put the plan of September into action.
Work. how do you do 5 months of work in 6 weeks? By starting with 3 months of work in 2 weeks. GO JUMBO!
I have a hunch i'm gonna have a speed lesson about what my professor preached:
"there are 3 days in a day. Each day is 8 hours long. You work 2 days, and take one day's leave (to sleep)." ..... -_-" powerful stuff...can't wait!!! -_-"""

Dance. Choreo Review is this week and i'm stil not sharp nor creative! urgh. i really need the time and will to improve my dance skills. I wanna see the day where i can step into a freestyle ring and actually do more than 2 moves!....

Priorities again and again and again. It's almost as bad as trying not to sleep in lectures. and positively harder than quitting coffee or instant noodles.

Friends Before i begin a path-of-no-return into lonely grumpy days without friends, i must admit how badly any friend can affect me, and how strong i can be about f**k-caring about anyone around me when i choose to. And so the balance is fragile. And i'm the idiot who will most definitely fail law school at this rate.. (law school, balance...get it?... nvm) So i better re-count my blessings again and remember the ones i forgot to count last time.

Future Need to find job, need to persue dream, need to know what dream is in the first place, need money to find dream, need to find job to earn money....this sounds like "the song that doesn't end". OK DON'T START. I SAID DON'T...sigh nvm... *sings along* Friends in uni studying fun fun stuff remind me of the days i loved science (esp Pharmacology). Maybe i'm just fed up of sitting around and waiting for miracles to happen. I currently do that literally. yes, i admit, i'm a WEIRDO.

Lousy attempt at poem
And again and again my path will begin
forever hold fast, i hope it will last,determination to push my imagination
of the inner workaholic who drinks hot horlicks.


Nights, love.
J2dawin

Appreciation and Seduction

I personally can't handle appreciation. I don't even like the word. It makes me edgy.

Appreciating #1: I'm generally stable, even if i'm snubbed or anything. Attitude can't touch me. But underappreciation hits me like a bullet. Why? It's an insecurity.

Appreciating #2: I've now learnt that i also can't show appreciation. I defended myself initially. But now i feel it's true.

The other realization: Kindness is the hardest thing to repay.

***

On another note, i've just read finished "The Game" by Neil Strauss... the one book Derrick and I have obssessed over. And to the end of the book, i realize two things:
One: I'm already a good PUA, difference being intention and actually looking for long-term connections with 'em. AMOGing, Social proofing, i've done it all before.

Two: Reading this book actually works up an ego. Like, after reading a couple of pages, I've just gone through a conversation so filled with my own testosterone that i could smell it, yet can't stop it. it's toxic and positively bad stuff.

wait, i'm realizing a third: Sometimes, it doesn't have to take effort to seduce. Sometimes, as Style himself says, it takes some real love to attract real relationships. Sarging is only a more elaborate and effective "hello".

Thoughtful saturday.

***
Shakedown 2006



I like this photo. L to R...top behind: Shar, Vinh. Middle: Am, Grace. Front: Ning, Xiaoyun, Kel.

Kindness came the other way

This blog entry has no other meaning other than to express my huge gratitude to Sou (who doesn't read this blog) and how much it means to me.
And the fact of the matter is, i haven't done anything for her.

who can say i've deserved it? i really wonder. But maybe, as the title goes, kindness comes around, in this big circle of life we all will never understand, and can only believe in it with heart and faith.

Today i believe.

Who is Joon?

Man, camp was good. Team 6 named ourselves "Who is Joon?" after a corny remark by yours truly sparked creative juices in shar's and ning's head. and of course, beatrice with her wagamama to spice it up a little. Too bad we didn't video our cheer, but i suspect we'll do it once re-united!
pictures will be up once i get it, but for now, some of my own.


the beautiful sunset of Healsville, peaking out of the clouds with distinct rays. Like out of heaven. This was taken Friday evening in Suzzane's car.


The blind mice of team WHOISJOON basking in the glory of victory. L2R: Shar, Ning, Beatrice


Team WHOISJOON going for gold! Balloon challenge L2R: Rani, Shar, Me, Ning, Winnie, Jules, Aaron's leg, Suz our boss. (p.s. it's not what it looks like. we're innocent!)

ok i admit, this game is a contact sport. but, hell, all was worth it, and the prize....



Hohoho i promised Beatrice we'll win it back. And we DID!

love you all!

send me pics, guys!...and i'll send you mine too!