Life is for living, we all know.

I realize that posting lyrics on your blog ain't too smart, considering most people actually don't bother to read all the small and wordy stuff.
However, i just did. look below. and i hope you read it.

Now I never meant,
To do you wrong,
That’s what I came here to say.

But if I was wrong,
Then I’m sorry,
I don’t let it stand in our way.

As my head just aches,
When I think of,
The things that I shouldn’t have done.

But, life is for living,
We all know,
And I don’t wanna live it alone.

-Coldplay, Life is for Living

The last line echoes in my head. Over and over. Having this talks with your mom in the night is spiritually and emotionally challenging. All at once my values i cherish dearly are challenged. And i can't say things to hurt my mom. Not when she only sees me once a year, one week every 52. Yet i still do, subtley. When i question her teaching methods. When i wonder aloud what happened to me when i was a kid. When i get talking about me staying in australia the next 5 years. And still, it fustrates me when she question and object , at the same time (women can really multitask, eh?), the way i handle my friends, and the decisions i make about myself in australia. And we get talking about my future. And how i will find her a really good daughter-in-law. And she will poke fun at it. She's funny when she finally decides to cut me a little slack. Which will remind me of the women i'm missing in my life. My mom and my sister. And my ex, who would be that mother figure i depended on for a year. And the lost of all that in my uni years. How i shyed away from forming close lady friends. How i started to not know how to communicate with the opposite sex. How i couldn't deal with all the silent moments where i ran out of things to say.
And the worst of it all, to come down and deal with the disappointment i so readily handed out to my friends. Gaining trust all over again, listening, shutting up, paying attention, getting a grip, thinking before speaking, being more sensitive, being less sensitive, hurting, hurting, hurting. Never knew a human being could rain like a 'water tap'.
And to bounce back, to have the strength to forget, forgive, move on. I could have never done without you peeps standing by me.
And i will walk this song. this song of life.
For songs are made for singing. And life is made for living.
p.s. this is the most romantic apology i've come across. Good idea to learn it now, buy a guitar, and use it I.C.S.H. (In Case Shit Happens). ;)